Give Yourself Permission to be YOUrself
I don't know about you but I CONSTANTLY critique my actions and my words. "Why did I say that?" "Oh, I should've kept that to myself." "I bet they think I'm totally weird for doing that." But you know what? That's exhausting and you know what else? WHO CARES?!?! No one cares!! And if they do, then you're wasting your time talking to them!When I think back at some of the best social moments of my life, they're ones when I was totally comfortable, let my guard down, and was my true honest self. My weird, OCD, silly, corny, dorky self completely engaged in the conversation.Maybe I didn't agree with the crowd. Maybe I had no idea what most of the group was talking about, but I was myself. Honest. And I owned it! Whether I knew what I was talking about or had to say: "You know what...I have no idea what you're saying and I'm totally lost in this topic."Sometimes I'm so hyper-focused on keeping those qualities I critique about myself tucked in so much, I feel it makes me weirder.
Just be you! I finally had to tell myself that and it feels So. Much. Better!I've learned that people would rather you BE YOU than some "normal" version of you that you think they want you to be. It's okay to say I don't know who that famous person is." "I can't stand bananas in my banana pudding." "I you-tubed (yes, that's a verb now) the whip and nae nae and then practiced it in my bathroom." " Not being on time gives me great anxiety, please get me there on time."Whew (*wipes sweat off forehead*)...that all feels great to get out!Growing up I put a lot of pressure on myself to fit in with my peers. I'm a first generation immigrant, I didn't participate in sports or made friends through extra curricular activities, my peers always seemed to have active lifestyles and participated in norms that were just foreign to me and my family. I tried to "fit in" and do things other peers did within my own leve
l of comfort. I eventually paved my own little way through my childhood and teenage hood and I survived. I participated in just enough and made some great friends along the way (this is not a sad story; I love my life). The point is, somewhere along the way I felt I had to pretend to be "normal" or like everyone else instead of simply embracing the fact that yes, my afterschool activities look different than yours. In my house we watch telenovelas at night...and so on.The older I got and the older I'm getting I just hit a point in which I had to embrace myself and who I am. I happen to like me. I love my story. My story made me who I am and there's no shame in it.Now I'm not totally careless in what I say. I try to be politically correct by nature and very much so in my profession. I'm not mean. That's not what I'm saying at all. Keep your filters on when appropriate. But....Embrace what makes you you. Give yourself permission to be yourself! Straighten out those flyers on that table that are driving you crazy because they're messy and you don't like them that way. Laugh at yourself! Don't ever do anything you don't want to do. And remind yourself of these things as needed.