Holiday Reflections Part 2
It feels like it's been a long week. I've been awake for hours and I'm writing this in the wee hours of Thursday morning. The last two days have been a little bit of an emotional ride. My house feels so weird right now. I just want to occupy all my time and be buried in distractions. I'm looking forward to Christmas eve when my house is full, I'm surrounded by laughter, and I'm worried about petty things like not burning the rolls or something silly like that.Christmas is only 8 days away and our family is getting together as usual. This year we're gathering at my house on Christmas eve as we have the past three years. On Christmas day, we're taking a mini family vacation (first year ever doing this...stay tuned). This should be interesting...I'm not sure how many of you read my post on Holiday reflections on a divided family (I guess I'll call that part 1) when I was feeling a little bummed while getting ready for thanksgiving. I shared about how I haven't seen or heard from my step dad in months despite my attempts to communicate with him. If you haven't read it, here it is: Holiday Reflections Part 1This week while visiting my sister who's admitted in the hospital to get some tests done (she has epilepsy and does this every so often), in walks dad in all his glory. "Hello...hello", he greeted everyone cheerfully as if he had just seen us all yesterday. And as if that wasn't enough, he brought that woman with him, no notice, no heads up, no warning, no nothing- a typical dad move. Why am I surprised?My sister sent us all a mass text when she checked into the hospital earlier this week with visiting hours and room number details. I didn't think he'd actually show, at least not in the evening (high traffic visiting hours and when he's most likely to run into us), and definitely not with his new wife.As I'm typing this I feel like a crazy person, a bitter crazy woman, and yet I'm still sharing this with you. His visit was one hundred percent awkward. Everyone who was visiting my sister at the time left the room immediately when they walked in on cue (my husband, my sister's boyfriend, my other sister, and my mom all got up) except for me and my sister who was attached to the monitors. I asked my sister if she wanted me to leave. She said no, so I stayed.Dad didn't acknowledge his absence over the past months at all and went on to do his best to carry on a conversation with me and my sister. He handed my sister a very age inappropriate toy (I'm talking Fisher Price 3-36 month old toy) to my 21 year old sister. He intended it to be a sweet gesture, I think. My sister thinks it was a toy that had been purchased and intended for someone else in his new life.My sister told him and showed him the care package I had given her in her true and blunt fashion we all know and love her for. That's my baby sister! My gifts were age appropriate and she loved them. He asked me how I've been since graduating college five years ago, I reminded him that it had been 10 years. He asked about our other siblings, I gave him a brief "they're all doing really well." The woman sat mute on the seat next to my sister's bed with her jet black ponytail tied back, thick eyebrows, and stern glare. Why are they here?, I wondered. About five minutes later, they left on their merry way.Uggghhhhhh.....such a strange strange feeling. I'm sure it will pass, it's just still so fresh.When telling another sister about the hospital visit she missed, we finally looked up public records and found out he got married to the other woman a little over a year ago. We heard rumors and asked him about it last year. He never admitted it and we wanted to hear it from him, but he never said it. The confirmation of seeing it on the screen really sunk in yesterday and not only with me.*Sigh*.......I need some major distractions right now!