A Letter to My Siblings' Significant Other

Lately it seems like no matter what I'm doing or where I'm at, I can't avoid stumbling across my siblings' relationships.This morning one of my brothers posted a status update about a girl he likes and feeling the Monday blues. Over the past few months, my youngest sister keeps asking if her boyfriend can come along too. "Is he invited to Thanksgiving?" "Can he come over on New Year's day?" They're always together! I like the kid, I'm just still getting used to seeing him so much.My youngest brother's profile picture is of him kissing his girlfriend and it makes me want to hurl every time he comes up on my feed. My other brother's girlfriend constantly posts questionable quotes that make me wonder if she's talking about their relationship.Maybe I should just avoid social media, or maybe I just need to accept the fact that all my siblings are adults and they're not babies anymore. They're in relationships and they're public about it.As an older sister to most of the 12 of us, I wanted to share some words with my siblings' significant others. So here goes:Dear boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee:You hold my brother/sister's heart right now. This is precious, not only to you and to them, but to me. This gives you a lot of power and you mustn't abuse it.As you may have realized by now, you're not only dating my brother/sister. You're in a relationship with the whole family. Oh yes! All of us! You may or may not have met us all yet, but you will and we know about you.Don't worry, this isn't a threat although it's starting to sound a lot like one.We're a big, dysfunctional group of people that will welcome you with open arms. We will get to know you and we encourage you to be yourself. We all are and we want you to be comfortable. We may seem intimidating at first because there's so many of us but I promise we mean well.As a big sister, I promise to get used to having you around (eventually). I promise to hear the good things that you do to make my sibling happy, and if they choose to share some negative things, I promise not to let those moments overpower the happy ones.I promise to have an open mind about you. I promise to encourage my sibling to make their own decisions. I promise not to meddle in your relationship. I promise not to always take my siblings' side if they choose to share about a disagreement you may be having (realistically speaking, I'll be on their side 90% of the time before I even hear the beginning of the story, but I mean you got like 10% so at least you're not starting from 0).A small part of me wants to pull a total Sheldon Cooper on you (you'll get the reference if you're a Big Bang Theory fan like me) and draw up a contract that makes you promise you won't break my baby's heart but I won't. Unless you don't mind signing a contract. Do you? (Just kidding)But if I was to do so I would ask you to:

• Treat my brother/sister with respect- always! A relationship is a two way street and respect should be at the heart of it.
• Don't share negative relationship details on social media. It lets people know there's some weakness there. You don't need to attract the haters.
• Surround yourself with the people who cheer and celebrate your relationship and are genuinely happy for the both of you.
• My brother/sister cares about you. If your feelings ever change, tell him/her. Don't drag him/her through what will end in heartbreak. That's not fun for either one of you. It won't be easy, but do the right thing.
• Be safe. Don't do anything or encourage them to do something that will put them in a bad situation. Don't let them engage in dangerous activities like recording videos on their phone while they're driving. That's stupid and unsafe- just don't.
• Our family has gone through a lot, especially over the last couple of years. We're tough, not all of us express our feelings verbally, and we're sensitive. Make him/her happy. You will always be a part of his/her life (whether you're a part of it temporarily or forever). Create great, happy moments.
• Be there. I know my siblings, and I know he/she has been there for you. Be there! Where? Where he/she needs you! Be there at the hospital, be there for birthdays, holidays, graduations, appointments, and wherever he/she needs you.
• Be supportive. I may be a tad bit bias, but my brothers and sisters are beautiful, special individuals. My sisters are adventurous, ambitious, generous, nurturing. My brothers are sensitive, affectionate, and attentive (among the many other qualities that make him/her who they are). Encourage them to be the best version of themselves. Inspire them to reach those goals and make each other better people. Support each other.

See...that's not so bad, is it? These are all reasonable requests, right? Now, let's draw up that contract! Just kidding (kind of...again)!Thank you for making him/her happy so far. I know it's not always easy.Love (for as long as you're around),<3 Their Big Sister, Rosy