Big Sister Confessions
My two youngest sisters came over for dinner earlier this month and while eating our dinner, Brandon wanted to show off his newest gadget. His mom gifted him a wooden vintage looking but modern entertainment center. It plays records, cassettes, cds, the radio and picks up bluetooth.He asked my sisters to play something from their phones to test the bluetooth feature. My sister clicked on the youtube app on her phone and started playing Kanye West's College Dropout album. She had heard one of his songs play on the radio earlier and it reminded her of his debut album. She sang along to the lyrics of "All Falls Down," then went on to play other tracks like "Family Business" and "Workout Plan," and so on, and sang along to each song.When that album was released, my sisters were about 8 and 9 years old. I was a junior in college and remember carelessly playing Kanye's cd from beginning to end while they rode around in my car as I took them to appointments, school functions, or wherever any one of us needed to be.There is absolutely no reason they should know the lyrics to the songs off that album. During dinner, I heard them sing along and switch songs while discussing which songs were their favorites and a part of me was entertained by the humor of it all while another part of me was mortified. I had ruined their childhood as I flashbacked and thought about all the other cds I kept in my car visor during those years and I exposed them to.Back then I didn't think much of it- the inappropriate lyrics and concepts of the music. I thought I was sharing the hottest songs with my kids and they were cool for knowing them. Nowadays, they're the ones exposing me to some of these crazy songs they're playing on the radio.During dinner we laughed about it. One of my sisters even thanked me because she can now relate and bond with her older co-workers over similar music from a different generation than hers.Today, I know better and know that ehhhh....I probably should've been more careful about what I played in the car and at home while the kids were around. Those poor kids! So it got me thinking, as their older sister, in what other ways have I tortured my younger siblings? What else have I put them through?So here are some of my big sister confessions:
I once logged onto my little brother's Facebook page while he was logged in too. He was chatting with a girl and I intercepted their conversation. I insulted her (nothing too terrible) while watching him try to explain that it wasn't him. He thought his keyboard was possessed.
My older sister and I once convinced our brothers that there was an elevator in our closet that led to a cool room full of toys. We told them that boys weren't allowed. We had just moved into a new house and the boys all bought our story. We made elevator noises loud enough for them to hear and everything. We taunted them for two weeks.
My older sister and I spoke pig latin in front of the younger kids and told them they weren't worthy of learning the advanced language.
My older sister and I once tied up our two younger brothers onto a post in the basement of our old house because we wanted to see "how fast they could untie themselves."
Brandon and I once bribed the kids to run a 5k backwards while we watched and walked behind them.
I constantly misplaced my reading glasses when I was a teenager so I bribed them to race to find them because it kept them occupied. Who ever found the glasses earned a quarter.
I once fed them chicken broth and turkey slices for lunch because I was dieting and I made them do it with me.
When they were much younger, I told them that if they cleaned out my car they could keep all the money they found in it. It was always just a little bit of change, but they did it anyway. This became a monthly thing.
I once told them a scary ghost story I made up of a man that haunted their school bus stop. They told all their little friends at the time.
My older sister and I learned that the tale of Black Beauty put the younger kids to sleep so we read it to them anytime we wanted to leave the house without them or force them to nap.
My older sister and I dared our younger brother to drink a concoction of ingredients we found in the kitchen pantry. I'm afraid we did this more than once.
My friends and I put makeup on my brother during my thirteenth birthday sleepover.
I once asked them to pose in age order on the staircase for a Christmas picture and then in order by intelligence. They ran around fighting for the most intelligent place.
For each of their birthdays for several years, Brandon and I made them guess whether their gift was in the glove compartment of the car or in the trunk. If they guessed incorrectly, they wouldn't get the gift. We only tortured them for most of the day, eventually I'd give in and give them the gift if they guessed wrong anyway.
All of us sisters once buried our younger brother in the sand at the beach. We drew boobs on him while he was trapped and took a picture with him.
My best friend, my older sister, and I discovered that when the kids said the word "fork" in their sweet little baby voices, it sounded a lot like another word. We made them say "fork you" on command to friends on the phone or around the house for mere amusement. The same with the word "bushes". We taught them to say, "This is bushes" while waving their fist in air and stomping while walking away.
Are you an older sibling reading this? If so, how did you torture your younger minions? If you're a younger little victim, I want to know some funny things your older sibling got you to do. Comment below!